Transforming Social Contacts
Into Business Contacts
Into Business Contacts
By Michael O’Horo
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Some people seem to know "everyone." You know the type. They know everyone in town. Their social circles contain many influential people with whom anyone would love to do business. They belong to the best clubs and always get invited to the best parties. They seem naturals to be the best rainmakers and, for some reason, they never seem to be able to make sales a regular part of their life. They frustrate their partners and leave them shaking their heads as they continue to leave business on the table. So why do so many of them have such difficulty initiating business discussions with those social acquaintances who hold the key to both professional and financial success? Most of the time, we fear imposing on or damaging the friendship or social contact. So how can we gracefully and reliably initiate business discussions with friends or social acquaintances -- without awkwardness or risk to the personal relationship or to our professional reputation? Separation is the Key After talking to and observing many of the best rainmakers in the legal profession as well as other successful professionals we clearly see the difference between success and disappointment. We believe the best way to avoid violating your social contract is to allow the business conversation to advance only to the point where you might be expected to offer advice or make a suggestion. Then, break it off. Here’s a step-by-step guide to what I’m talking about: 1. Show interest. Ask the expected "how's business?" That’s OK. People like to be asked about what they do and how they are doing. You might even consider "priming the pump" by saying that you hear things are really great. Modesty encourages most people to try to temper your assessment by sharing some obstacle they face. This is exactly what you want -- a problem, a dilemma. 2. Now begin to probe gently and subtly to identify "pain issues" with which you can help. Ask "High-Yield" questions which demonstrate that you have real knowledge about such problems. Most people, particularly those who already know you, will ask your advice or opinion, given your apparent or reputed expertise in the subject. 3. When the discussion shifts to possible solutions, acknowledge that you have helped others with similar problems (never "the same"), and suggest categories or types of approaches that "may make sense." Don't offer specific advice. 4. Cut off any discussion of actual specifics with a gracious recognition that you are together for social reasons, that you don't wish to monopolize their time or discussion, but that you are very interested in talking more about ways to solve the problem. 5. Suggest a business lunch or office meeting to explore the problem some more, with possible dates, to be confirmed by telephone the next (business) day. 6. Be sure to follow up immediately. These six simple steps won’t make everyone into a world class rainmaker. But, I believe that if you take it slowly and practice the discipline described above you will be well on your way to improving your ability to turn social contacts into clients without ever compromising your social or professional standing. |